


Every Ending is a New Beginning

by CrocnBunny



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 20:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15647958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrocnBunny/pseuds/CrocnBunny
Summary: In the middle of a war, two people find each other and despite their best efforts become all the other needs, but all-to-often in this world there isn't a happy ending. This story starts with the ended and aims to tell the tale of how they got to it.





	Every Ending is a New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This story starts out with a major character death, however, it really won't be a surprising one. This story is (in our usual quirky fashion) told in single snippets of a relationship, but going back in time, so we're starting with the end, and each chapter will tell the story of how they got to the chapter before. If this bothers you, you can always read the story in reverse when complete.

The worst day of Poe’s life started the same as any other. He was sat in the mess hall between Finn and Snap while they watched with a mix of horror and amusement as Rey and Jess competed to see who could squeeze the most dario berries into their mouth at once. Jess snorted inelegantly and berry juice shot out of her nose and sprayed across the table, Snap groaned “...and with that gentlemen I think I’m all done.”

As he rose to his feet there was a flurry of voices shouting in the corridor, Iolo came running in towards them gasping, “It’s Kare’s ship, it’s been attacked.” he stared at the group wide eyed. Poe felt his blood run cold and the world slowed around him, Iolo continued, “The general, She’s dead! Kare’s not responding, they’ve sent a rescue ship.”

Snap, Rey and Jess were already heading towards the door but Poe was rooted to the spot, a single word swirling around his mind, ‘dead!’. 

Finn grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight, “Come on Buddy, let’s get out of here.” He pulled Poe to his feet and dragged him through halls, all full of chattering crowds, till they were safely back into their shared room.

Poe began to pace, the blood draining from his face, “It’s just rumours, nothing’s been confirmed yet.” he muttered looking at Finn with red rimmed eyes, Poe bent down and called his droid to him, “Buddy, I need a favour. I need you to connect to the mainframe, let me know as soon as that rescue ship reaches the transport.” BB-8 carefully plugged itself into the data socket and sat silently, while Poe ran his hands through his hair.

A short while later, although to Poe and Finn it seemed like an eternity, Beebee beeped quietly. Poe lept towards him, “What Buddy, what have they found?” 

Finn hovered behind Poe as the droid’s answering beeps echoed in the silence. Poe didn’t move, Finn rested a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “I don’t understand binary…” he spoke softly.

Poe stood up and looked into Finn’s eyes, swallowing sharply before translating, “The rescue ship is returning, Kare is alive but unconscious, they’re bringing General Organa’s body back. They’ll arrive back to our cruiser before sunset.”

Perching on the edge of Poe’s bunk, Finn pulled the older man towards him, wrapping him in his arms. Poe let out a strangled gasp and began to sob into the younger man’s shoulder. BB-8 beeped quietly and nudged at its master’s leg.

Finn stayed by his side for what seemed like hours, until Poe had fallen into a fitful sleep. Then he quietly instructed the worried droid to keep an eye on him and snuck out.

~~~~~

Poe was functioning on autopilot, moving robotically through his daily tasks. It was late into the evening and he was on the bridge, supposedly going through some of his squadrons proposed flight plans, in reality he’d been staring at the same screen for at least 20 minutes.

“Commander Dameron, could I have a word?” General Ematt’s rough voice pulled Poe’s attention from the data pad he held. Poe stood with a heavy sigh and followed the General into the empty command office.

The general motioned for Poe to take a seat as he settled himself behind the desk - Leia’s desk - Poe reminded himself swallowing harshly, willinging himself to keep the tears at bay.

Ematt steepled his fingers and studied Poe for what felt like an age. “You’re a mess Dameron.”

“What, Sir…” Poe began, but the general cut him off with a wave of his hand.

“Things are difficult around here at the moment, that I understand, we’re all trying to keep the resistance on track, but General Organa’s death has clearly affected you deeply.” he paused momentarily before continuing, “Your friend, Finn, came to see me earlier. He informed me that you and the General were close.”

Poe opened his mouth as if to protest but General Ematt continued, “I’m not trying to catch you out, I don’t need details.” His gaze slid over Poe’s eyes, still red rimmed from before he started his shift, “I’m just letting you know that you don’t have to keep us this ‘brave-face’ charade - it’s not fooling anyone. I’m telling you that you’ll be taking some personal time off - at least until after the memorial.”

Poe nodded solemnly, “May I be bold and make a suggestion about that?” Ematt lifted an eyebrow and motioned for Poe to continue, “I know we’re not more than a few sectors from the Alderaanian graveyard. If it wouldn’t be too much of a detour, I feel it would be a fitting place. I think it’s what she would have wanted.”

General Ematt nodded, “Thank you, I’m sure that can be arranged, I’ll organise the route change myself. It shouldn’t take more than a few days.”

Poe made to stand up, but the General continued, “Commander, after the memorial service, members of my team will start to sort through and organise General Organa’s possessions, in case there is anything useful to the cause.” Poe struggled to meet the older man’s eyes, “She left no official next of kin, but I’ve ensured you will have access to her quarters until then.”

“Thank you, Sir” Poe managed, he could feel tears beginning to well in his eyes again, it was so much to take in so soon. “What exactly did Finn tell you?”

The General smiled at him, “Just as I said, that you were close to General Organa.” Poe looked sceptical, “I, however, happened to be a rather good friend of Leia’s. Finn simply gave me a name to someone I knew to look for.” Poe found himself nodding numbly again, “She’s never smiled as brightly as these last few months, thank you for that.” He clapped a hand on Poe’s shoulder “I’m truly sorry for your loss.” The younger man scrunched his eyes, attempting to hold back the tears again, Ematt sensed that pilot couldn’t handle any further discussion tonight, his face growing sombre he added, “Commander Dameron, do you wish to see her?”

Poe’s head snapped up, his mouth agape, he didn’t think he’d have the opportunity - bodies were normally cremated quickly in space through necessity. “Please, Sir.” he croaked out, unable to prevent the tear sliding down his cheek. Ematt nodded and led him towards the medical bay.

~~~~~

As soon as General Ematt left him, Poe crumpled into a heap next to the bed where she lay. He rested his head on her abdomen and openly sobbed.

He had no idea how much time had passed before he pulled himself together enough to drag a chair nearer and sit beside the bed. His eyes ran over the life-less form of his wife, his leader, his love - how was he going to carry on after this, but hadn’t he promised, he’d promised her that no matter what he would always keep going.

He gently stroked the loose hair away from her forehead and took her hand, cold in his own. “You always have the best advice for me, even now, but I beg you to allow me to go to pieces for just a short while before I get my shit together again.” A silent tear ran down his cheek, “I really loved you, with every ounce of my being.” He ran his fingers softly over the ring she wore on the hand he was grasping, Poe slowly slipped the band of metal off her finger and refastened it to the chain he still wore around his neck. “I will carry you in my heart always.”

He stood running a caress along her cheek before placing a gentle kiss on her lips, “Farewell my princess, until we meet again.”

Slipping quietly out of the medical bay, he glanced along the corridor. He really couldn’t face his shared room with Finn right now - too many questions, the awkward are you alrights? No, it was better to return to Leia’s quarters. That night Poe curled up alone in her bed, clutching his mother’s ring to his chest, a new wave of grief rushing over him for everything that he’d lost, all the future might-have-beings, until he eventually fell into a tear dampened sleep.


End file.
